When Unique Turned Common

Naming your newborn is one of the most brain storming yet exciting task for the entire family.

While a huge list of names are available on search engines , a unique name is what parents look for. But be mindful that some unique names can also become complicated in terms of pronunciation, spelling or meaning. Hence here are some points you may want to consider before selecting that one special name. 

1. Does the name have a wonderful meaning, irrespective of unique or Common. 

2. Is it easy to pronounce and spell.

3. Is the name in line with the custom (if any) of choosing the letter based on date & time of birth. 

4. It's optional but does your baby's name fit in with the siblings or cousins if any. 

5. Again optional but some couples may prefer to see part of both their names in their baby's name.

6. Nick names are not an issue but you may not prefer your baby's name to be distorted while pronouncing or spelling. 

7. Most importantly, do you love the name , irrespective of whether it's unique or Common. 

I could share these points because of the experience I had while naming my son. My husband and I were in love with the name Aarav and after considering most of the above points we finalised the same. There were no complications or second thought regarding this. At that point, the only other Aarav we knew was celebrity Akshay Kumar's son. But if you go through the amusing incidents below, you will know "duniya kitni gol hai" 😂. 

It was now time to share few of my Son's pictures with his name  on the social media timeline. Where best wishes, love and blessings poured in through the comments, we got to know that one of our friends son is also Aarav.

Once at Kolkata airport, I saw a lady hastening towards me and shouting out "Aarav ...Aarav ". I just stood still with my Aarav on my lap as I was trying to recognise the lady who knew me or rather my son so well. The confusion was soon clarified  when she walked pass me to catch hold of her son Aarav who was running around and playing behind me .

What more!! In our apartment we found out that a family who stays just two floors above us has a 3 year old son named Aarav 😏.

The story just doesn't end here. In a queue during our paediatrician visit, a slight confusion occurred because the child before us was also Aarav . 😱.

Well, this is how the name we thought of so "Unique" just became common. We almost thought of changing the name after facing the co incidents but then we realised that we chose this name because we loved this name and found it apt for our son. Hence changing it just because it is "not so unique" absolutely didn't make any sense. 

So Unique or not, we have a birth certificate reflecting Aarav Viral Shah in bold and it feels good. 😃. And who knows, this common name might become some unique personality tomorrow. 😃. Being positive is the key to move on after all 😉. 

After C-Section

Most of the mums-to-be knowingly or unknowingly suffer from Tokophobia (fear of childbirth and labour pain). Despite of this fear, normal delivery is what they pray for but conditions like lower amniotic fluid, high or fluctuating BP , a big baby and many more calls for a C-Section. But be it a normal delivery or not, all the pain and fear fades away once you hold that little life in your arms.

Having undergone C-Section twice and in a very short gap, I would like to share some dos and don'ts for the mums-to-be to follow after delivery, specifically a C-Section. 

1. Follow Medical Advice - Post delivery, your your health condition will be known better by your doctor. Hence the first thing is to follow the instructions given by your doctor and taking the recommended medicines on time, which usually includes Calcium, Vitamin & Iron supplements, pain killers and cream/ointments for stretch marks reduction.

2. Become an Active Mum - The surgery pain will persist for 3-4 days. But you should start walking from day 1 after delivery. The same is also advised by doctors because the more you sit or lie down, the more difficult it becomes for you to move. Back at home, try doing some of the tasks on your own like massaging and bathing the baby, washing yours and baby's clothes on your own etc. Do Not lift heavy stuffs or bend down much unless advised by the doctor.Do Not overdo or stress yourself. Do take rest the moment you feel tired. You should be back to your normal self by the end of first month itself .

3. Ajwain Paani (Carom Seeds Water) - Drinking warm Ajwain Paani throughout the day along with regular water helps in cleansing the uterus and initial weight reduction. This should be followed for one month.

4. Masoor Daal Paani (Red Lentils Water) - Good for internal cleansing, healing and enhancement of breast milk. Drink a glass of Masoor Daal Paani with your breakfast for as long as possible (preferably 3 months).

5. Doodh Saboo (Milk with Sago)- One bowl of Doodh Saboo a day is excellent for breast milk enhancement. Continue this as long as you can.

6. Gaundh ke Laddoo (Tragacanth Gum Balls)- These laddoos are known to have the best healing effect for a new mother and gives a lot of strength. It helps to get back the uterus in shape & place, cleanse the internal system, and reduction of postpartum body aches. It is made up of many nutritious ingredients some of which are Wheat, Dry fruits, Desi Ghee and Gaundh. One laddoo a day can be consumed daily up to six Months after delivery.

7. Body Toning - While you should avoid heavy exercises up to three months , you must tie a Belt or Saree (the traditional method) around your waist and tummy to tuck in your lose and stretched tummy. Additionally you should get a full body massage done for as long as possible which will help in toning down the body. 

8. Sleep well - Sleepless nights are common with the newborn in your life. However sleep when ever you get the chance even if it is during the daytime. 

9. Avoid Dirt and Cold- A new mum has a weak immune system. Hence avoid stepping out , dust , pollution, and cold stuffs for one or two months. Because if you get ill, the same gets transferred to your baby as well via breast feeding. 

And most importantly, stay happy and stress free. Read good books, listen to music, take pictures or do online shopping if you love the same . Because when you are happy, your baby will be happy and healthy too.

The BIG Announcement

The next thing after your baby's arrival is to inform everybody about your prince or princess. The near and dear ones are either called up or messaged with the wonderful news. But sharing of any news is incomplete unless it's there on your social media timeline, preferably with a picture. In my case , while my hubby did the needful about informing all near and dear ones, I wanted to make this big announcement through my social media timeline. But in line with the postpartum tradition followed in my family, I wasn't allowed to share any pictures until 21 days. 😞. I am sure many of us have traditions in similar lines to obey to but also want to make the announcement in a unique style. This is where my creative mind rang a bell and I utilised it during those 21 days to prepare the below . I was very happy and overwhelmed with the outcome. No downloads from the net, no help from any expert . Just an appropriate use of creativity and smartphone application did wonders. And so , this is how I announced Aarav's arrival😂.

My Sleeping Child

Being a new mum to my 7 months old, the recent Mother's Day was definitely special for me even though no cake was cut or  gift received. Yet I felt happy and proud.  From the time one steps into this incredible journey, a sense of responsibility, awareness and a bit of fear automatically develops along with the life growing within. One often dreams of the  beautiful future  to spend with the arriving member, and waits for the surprise package. Even I dreamt of something similar during my first pregnancy until the big road block hit my way.
It was mid way through the 36th week. Around 8 am on 21st April 2015 the water broke . Happy, nervous , excited and in pain we rushed to the hospital. Soon I was in the labour room, my bed separated by four large white curtains from the adjescent beds. I couldn't see any one near by. Only heard the voices.  I was asked to lie down while the nurse prepared  to check me up. But Something was  unusual at that moment . I could not feel  the movement, the pain was gone,  and  that mild thump on my left abdomen was missing.  I  prayed that everything is OK as my husband waited outside. The nurse finally arrived with the Doppler's machine. I saw her and another nurse struggle to locate the hearbeat . Then I heard them say "can't locate the heartbeat". They rushed to call the doctor in charge during that hour. It was a hush hush situation.  I wasn't allowed to get up nor anyone spoke to me.  Each time a new nurse or assistant came in,  poured the gel , ran the machine over my tummy in various direction but could find nothing. At around 10 my doctor came and asked for a USG. Few minutes later the machines were taken back and everyone left. Only my doc stood there holding my hand and saying "I am sorry, you need to be strong. Let me talk to your husband".  There was this pin drop silence after that . No screaming ,  no tears. I just had a blank mind and a numb surrounding. She then left me alone in that curtained chamber and went out to speak to my husband. Few hours later I delivered my sleeping child , my Ansh.
I Wish "sleeping child" only remained as one of my favourite tracks from MLTR but unfortunately these two words  became the bitter truth of my life forever. 
This incident left me clueless  where I didn't know how to move ahead without my baby now. While I knew he won't come back , I kept hoping for some miracle to happen . Months passed by with tears and many sleepless nights . Soon it was time for me to join back work and start everything afresh.
Things seemed all fine and normal initially as few of my friends and colleagues ensured I stay happy and took good care of me. Some short weekend trips with my husband kept both of us happy. I started meditation, focussed on losing some weight and gaining back the lost nutrients. I listened to music a lot and ensured to keep myself busy throughout​ the day with office or household chores. We visited temple every Saturday which really helped us gain strength and fight through this difficult phase of life.
But as they say, being a mother is the toughest job. For me,  being a "sleeping child's" mother had its own challenges. The fact that I didn't have my baby in my arms after being bonded to him for 8.5 months, kept me irritated and angry most of the time.  The questions "why me?Why him?where did I go wrong?" Always kept haunting me. Posts on maternity photoshoot, any new born arrival , kids birthday parties etc. On social media pricked me.  I even had to face questions  like "what exactly happened that day ?"  " how are you coping up with it" . "when are you planning next?". A usual day even started with  a greeting like " hey , watsup.. how's your baby doing?" And then out of self realisation they even apologised.
With bitter and sweet moments , every single day felt like a long year . By God's grace, within a year of losing Ansh, I conceived again. On Oct 26, 2016,  Aarav's arrival  completed my small world .
The journey of being a mother wasn't very  pleasant for me. Losing Ansh had shattered me from within , but at the same time it gave me the strength to get going and make things right again. It taught me to be patient and think practically even during the intense emotional trauma I was going through . I learnt to chose what is right for the moment where I decided to quit my job at the peak of my career as I didn't want to take any risk with Aarav.
After 9 years of work experience, today I am a full time house wife and I love my new role. Every day is full of love and surprise where I  watch Aarav achieve his milestones while Ansh is missed and  remembered in my silent tears.